Colour of my weiqi world

when i first played weiqi, the world i saw was so exciting, interesting, playful and filled with lots of bright colours like a never ending journey. after i met alot of friends and hsia lao shi my weiqi world changed, i was like walking in the desert with all my friends talking and treasuring the times with have there and my weiqi was more of a white colour and i can see the weiqi board and stones in my head perfectly and i would say that my qi gan at that time was very good. suddenly everything turned black, the weiqi board and stones in my head turned foggy and it seems that it shrink smaller that i cant see the board clearly anymore. my weiqi world everything turned black, my qi gan has gone down to 0%. y is this happening? still searching for an answer...... i will try to revert back to my starting point and start from there, the way i trained last time.

someone asked me y i bother to train my juniors when i should be training myself full time, i told him maybe its part of being the captain jobs, he told me i think u dun need to train them full time, infact they should rely on themself more than on u for improvement, i said ya told them that many times le just didnt get that into their heads.

thought of this thing for sometimes, to be a good leader first u must be a good follower, i thought of this when i was thinking how to make those junior listen to me more....i asked myself m i a good follower, i think nope...thats y i cant be a good leader, reason being if i can think in the shoes of my follower or like them then i can understand them more and get them to follow me instead of someone else. being a good guy is hard, being a bad guy is also hard. good guy ppl will climb on ur head and stamp on u. bad guy ppl will start to boycott u and scare of u and all those nasty things. how to be good and bad at the same time, need to learn to adapt to situation.

i have always solved all problems on my own, this time will also be the same solving all this problems. i have got to find back my colour of my weiqi!