Colour of my weiqi world

when i first played weiqi, the world i saw was so exciting, interesting, playful and filled with lots of bright colours like a never ending journey. after i met alot of friends and hsia lao shi my weiqi world changed, i was like walking in the desert with all my friends talking and treasuring the times with have there and my weiqi was more of a white colour and i can see the weiqi board and stones in my head perfectly and i would say that my qi gan at that time was very good. suddenly everything turned black, the weiqi board and stones in my head turned foggy and it seems that it shrink smaller that i cant see the board clearly anymore. my weiqi world everything turned black, my qi gan has gone down to 0%. y is this happening? still searching for an answer...... i will try to revert back to my starting point and start from there, the way i trained last time.

someone asked me y i bother to train my juniors when i should be training myself full time, i told him maybe its part of being the captain jobs, he told me i think u dun need to train them full time, infact they should rely on themself more than on u for improvement, i said ya told them that many times le just didnt get that into their heads.

thought of this thing for sometimes, to be a good leader first u must be a good follower, i thought of this when i was thinking how to make those junior listen to me more....i asked myself m i a good follower, i think nope...thats y i cant be a good leader, reason being if i can think in the shoes of my follower or like them then i can understand them more and get them to follow me instead of someone else. being a good guy is hard, being a bad guy is also hard. good guy ppl will climb on ur head and stamp on u. bad guy ppl will start to boycott u and scare of u and all those nasty things. how to be good and bad at the same time, need to learn to adapt to situation.

i have always solved all problems on my own, this time will also be the same solving all this problems. i have got to find back my colour of my weiqi!

Final Fantasy 13 Episode Zero: (Treasure)

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter One
Who would have thought it’d turn out to be such a big deal?
Soldiers everywhere, everything’s messed up. When I first met you, it was so peaceful. Let’s see now... that was eight days ago wasn’t it? Yeah, just eight days. In that time, all this has happened. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore.
Just can’t believe it. Dad has completely given up. Well, you have too...

“Daddy, I want that one!”
Dajh was tugging at his hand, and Sazh stopped without even thinking about it. When children demand things from their parents they’ll pull and tug and run around until they get what they want. His son Dajh was only six, but he could pull an adult like Sazh over without trying.
“Hey, why don’t we buy it on the way back?”
Sazh had brought Dahj to Ewleede Canyon. He couldn’t remember when it was, but Dajh had said he wanted to see a fal’Cie.

If you wanted to see a fal’Cie on Cocoon, the only place to go was to Ewleede, to see fal’Cie Kujata. Sazh had searched around, and he had found a free spot on what looked like the perfect tour package. “A Family Vacation: Visit Ewleede and Bowdam”, had been the tour name. The airship and hotel room would be reserved for you, and they’d give you some free time to explore the places yourself. The price for children had a nice discount, and it looked like fun.

That’s why they were now headed from Ewleede Station to the energy plant. The place was filled with tourists, and every corner had a souvenir shop. Sazh had known that Dajh would want to stop somewhere. He’d want some animal shaped balloon, or perhaps brightly colored candy would catch his eye...
“No! Now! Now!”
Dajh pulled on his hand even harder. All children are like this, saying what they want when they want it. Sazh remembered doing it too, and how happy he’d be he’d get what he wanted.
But there was something he hadn’t realized as a child. The adults who gave them what they wanted were even happier to do it.
“Alright, alright. Just this once.” Just saying that made him start to smile.
“So, what is it you want?”
They were in front of a pet shop. This wasn’t just some local shop, but a chain that had shops everywhere.
“I want the yellow one!”
“Let’s see, which one is it?”

There were lots of different cages lined up in front of the shop. Just to show how big the shop was, they didn’t have only your normal dogs and cats, but they also had monsters that had their genes rearranged to be non-threatening.
“The yellow one, which yellow one?” His eyes stopped.
“Not... you don’t mean... that one?”

In one of the huge cages there was a big yellow Pudding, just sitting there. The Pudding was stretching out it’s body, trying to look menacing.
“Hey kid, you mean this yellow one don’t ya?” The shopkeeper smiled at Dajh and flapped his hands.
“Yeah, that one!” Dajh nodded, and made the same motion. It looked like they were imitating a bird.
“All kids mean this when they say ‘the yellow one’.” The shopkeeper said, pointing at a sign that said, “Baby Chocobos in Stock!”
“Oh, just a chocobo.” He had panicked when he’d thought Dajh had meant the Pudding, but he had no problems with a baby chocobo.
“Alright then, we’ll take one of the yellow ones.”

Dajh’s face lit up when he heard the words. Dajh loved chocobos. His favorite picture book was about a chocobo, he even had a chocobo print towel he’d used to shreds.
“Great! Then please come inside the shop.” The shopkeeper tried to take Dajh by the hand.
“No, I’ll wait here!” Dajh said. He was proud that he now could wait on his own when his father had to do something. Now he wanted to wait by himself all the time.
“Alright, but you can’t move from this spot. Got it?”

Dajh nodded, getting a mischievous look on his face. Of course Sazh knew what he was planning, which is why he always told him to not move. Recently Dajh wasn’t satisifed with just waiting by himself, so he’d play a game. He’d wait until Sazh had entered a store, then hide himself in the shadows. When Sazh came looking for him he’d wait, all excited, until he was found. When he entered the shop, the shopkeeper was just opening up the cage. That’s when one of the chocobos dashed from the cage and flew straight at Sazh.
“Hey, looks like he likes you.” He smiled and closed the cage when he saw the baby chocobo flying around Sazh.
“Does it? Can’t really tell.” His eyes met the baby chocobo’s when he looked up. The chocobo cocked his head. Just when he started thinking it was cute, it’s eyes flashed. The next moment, the chocobo dived at Sazh.
“Ow!” The chocobo had landed right on the top of Sazh’s head.
“Hey, don’t use your claws like that!” The chocobo chirped in answer. Sazh couldn’t tell whether it was saying ‘Okay!’ or ‘Do you think I care?’, but either way it seemed happy.

Once he’d finished paying, he left the shop in a hurry with the chocobo riding on top of his head. He wanted to show Dajh the chocobo as soon as he could.
Or so he’d thought. But Dajh was nowhere to be found. Well, this was how it always was.
“Hey, Dajh? Are you playing hide and seek?” He made as if he were looking around. Of course he was just hiding somewhere in the shadows. Soon he’d hear Dajh laughing from somewhere nearby. Small children don’t hide so they won’t be found, they hide so they’ll get picked up in a big hug.
“Hey, looks like I lost. I can’t find you!” He said, pretending to give up. But still he didn’t hear Dajh laugh.
“Dajh...?”

He looked around. On the other side of the bench, in the cart’s shadow, behind the flower box. But Dajh was no where to be seen. But maybe... the energy plant was just over there.
“You didn’t go in there did you?”
Sazh ran to the entrance of the plant. Children will do the same things over and over and never get tired of them, but then suddenly one day they’ll do something new. Children are good at this. That’s how they grow up. I won’t be letting him wait on his own for awhile, Sazh thought. Dajh probably thought it would be fun to try going somewhere else on his own while he was waiting.
When he was in front of the entrance, he looked back at the plaza once more just in case. There were lots of children his age, but he couldn’t see Dajh. He really must have gone into the plant alone. Sazh started getting worried.
That’s when it happened. The ground trembled as though something huge had fallen. From far away he could hear the sound of air blowing. The children playing in the plaza all started crying and screaming.
“Dajh!” Sazh ran towards the entrance. Something bad just happened. He was certain.
“Dajh where are you?”

An emergancy siren sounded. A loud noise that cut through the screams. Tourists were rushing towards the entrance as fast as they could. Sazh wanted to get on with searching for Dajh, but the wave of people pushed and shoved him. He was unable to move an inch. He pushed through, trying to make way through the people. They yelled at him and complained, but he had no time for that now.
It took awhile, but he finally heard the energy plant staff telling the tourists to calm down and exit in an orderly manner. It had probably took them so long because they had been surprised as well.
He could still hear and feel the ground trembling. White smoke was billowing out, and he couldn’t tell what was happening inside. Was there a fire or an explosion?
“Dajh! Where are you Dajh?” Sazh accidentally breathed in the smoke, but it didn’t make him cough. It wasn’t smoke, but some sort of mist. Just what was happening in there...?

There weren’t many people along the walkway. Probably everyone else had already run. Maybe Dajh had been taken with them? No, that didn’t seem right. He felt as though Dajh was somewhere close by.
“Dajh! It’s dad! Please answer me!” He was right in front of fal’Cie Kujata. He yelled louder. The white mist had become even thicker than it was before, and he could hear a loud sound like air escaping. He continued on, being careful to check everywhere around him.
Then he saw the familiar color of Dajh’s clothes.
“Dajh!”
Dajh was laid out along one of the resting benches. He ran over and gathered him up in his arms.
“Daddy...?”
“It’s alright, everything is alright. Are you hurt?” He spoke in a calm voice to reassure him, checking his arms and legs.
“Huh? What’s this?”

There was a strange mark he’d never seen on the back of Dajh’s hand. At first he thought it was a sticker, but it was something else. It looked like the body paint some of those kids liked to put on. Even so, how could he have...?
No, there would be time to think about it later. Right now they had to leave, get somewhere safe. He picked up Dajh, to carry him, when he heard the sound of footsteps closing in behind him.
“Hey! Are you alright?”
It was a soldier on the security force. He’d be able to lead them to a safer place.
“My child, he...”
“Is he hurt? Did he hit his head?”
“I don’t know. We got separated, and then...”
It probably said in the emergency procedure manual not to listen to the whole story. They unfolded a stretcher and placed Dajh on it. A female soldier stood close, looking into Dajh’s face.
“You don’t have to be scared, everything will be alright.”
She was probably checking too see whether he was conscious or not while she talked. She walked over to soldiers and nodded.
“Take him to the first-aid room. Please come this way sir.”
We’re saved, Sazh thought, everything will be alright. He nodded, and walked after them.

The first-aid room was crowded with tourists who had hurt themselves while running away, or were otherwise not feeling well. When Dajh was on the stretcher, he had remained quiet, but now that he laid in bed he couldn’t take it anymore. Dajh began moving about, unable to keep still. He looked up at Sazh.
“Hey, daddy--”
“Shhh.” He said, laying a hand on Dajh’s shoulder. “You’ll have to stay quiet until the doctor can have a look at you.”
“Okay...” Dahj nodded sadly. There was some commotion out in the hallway. Did they just bring in an emergency patient? The door to the first-aid room burst open, and several soldiers marched in. You could tell they weren’t from the security force here, not just by their clothes, but by their cold demeanor.
“We are now in a state of emergency. As of now the plant and the surrounding area of Ewleede are under PSICOM supervision. You will obey any orders given.”

A young woman was standing at the front of the soldiers. She wore her beauty and intelligent like a cloak. But, perhaps it was the glasses, her gaze seemed cold and severe.
“Currently all airship landings at Ewleede Station will be suspended. We will be setting up a tent in the plaza in front of the energy plant for you to use as a waiting area, so we would like everyone who has been seen by a doctor to go there. Anyone who has not been seen and medical staff will go to the first-aid tent. As of now this place is off-limits.”
The first-aid room grew noisy, but only for a moment. Then on the woman’s orders the soldiers separated the people into groups and made them form a line, leading them outside. That was neatly done, Sazh thought, PSICOM has always been good at this sort of thing.
Sazh and Dajh went to the end of the line going to the first-aid tent. But then he felt a hand laying on his shoulder.
“Is this the child who collapsed in front of the fal’Cie?”
It was the woman in the glasses who led the soldiers. She lowered her voice as she spoke to Sazh.
“My name is Jihl Nabaat of PSICOM. I wish to speak with you about your son. Please come with me.”
“About my son?”
She lifted a finger to her lips, indicating him to quiet.
“I know you’d like to speak of it now, but please follow my orders. I will explain in more detail, but here... there are too many people.”
Her words held hidden meaning. Just what was happening? What had happened to Dajh? There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but this was PSICOM. This was someone who held a high position. The only thing Sazh could do was nod.

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Two
They pretended we were emergency patients, carrying us away and loading us on a PSICOM airship. Sometimes one of the higher ups in PSICOM would come by, saying they had to ‘observe’ us. That Nabaat woman kept saying it was a ‘lucky accident’ or something like that. PSICOM’s specialty is... well, they call them the “Menace of Pulse”. I wondered what was so luck about PSICOM being at the plant.
No, I didn’t care about that, so long Dajh was alright. So long as he was safe. But they didn’t explain anything to me, they just dragged us to Eden and put us in the military’s medical facility. She said she’d tell us the details later, but with the medical staff watching over us on the airship there was no time for that.
Because they said, “The safety of your son is of the utmost importance.” I didn’t say anything.

Dad was all shook up, so I complete forgot to let you and Dajh meet. But you weren’t exactly able to at the time, were you? You were hiding in dad’s hair, so shocked you couldn’t even move, right? When you finally flew out it was night, and I was getting into bed. They’d put me in a different room from Dajh. I was all alone, so it gave me quite a start.
Of course I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about the word that Lieutenant Nabaat said: “The Mark of the l’Cie”.
By the next day, nothing had changed. Sazh still didn’t know what was going on. He cornered one of the medical staff, but they’d only tell him that they were still investigating. Or they’d tell him that Lieutenant Nabaat would explain everytime to him at a later time. If he asked where she was, they’d only tell him they didn’t know. He thought that they were probably hiding something, but it seemed the staff here really had no idea. They weren’t in charge of the investigation on Dajh, but one of the higher ups, a specialist.

Maybe they felt sorry for Sazh, who was out of his mind with worry. The medical staff attempted to find out about Lieutenant Nabaat, but couldn’t get much farther than he could. The Lieutenant was out on duty, she couldn’t even be contacted.
“Lieutenant Nabaat is a very important person. She is one who the Sanctum relies on. There is nothing we can do.”

The young woman who’d done everything she could to help him looked regretful. According to her, Nabaat had graduated at the top of her class. After that, she had moved quickly to the position of Lieutenant, and it wouldn’t be too long before she attained even higher positions. If someone like that was involved, then what had happened at Ewleede was no simple accident. It looked like he and Dajh got wrapped up in some serious business. That he was sure of.
“We will get in contact with her, so you can get an explanation as soon as possible. I know you’re worried, but please wait a little longer.”
“I understand, just... as soon as you can, please.” Sazh thanked her, and returned to his room. It wasn’t a sickroom, but a place set aside for the family of patients. It was set up like a hotel. It even had a machine where you could access the shops, among other things.

When he stopped in front of the machine, the baby chocobo flew out from his hair. It had probably been watching to see if it was safe, so it hadn’t come out before.
“Play around as much as you want. I’m going to try and get some information.” He turned on the machine, and accessed the library. He wanted to find out more about this “Mark of the l’Cie” that Nabaat had been talking about earlier.
Of course he’d heard of l’Cie. It was something he had known about since he was a child. Everyone born on Cocoon heard about them in old stories and fairy tales. But how does that fairy tale relate to reality? He couldn’t think of any way they could have anything to do with Dajh and the accident at Ewleede. He had probably heard wrong, and it was actually a different word. Not really l’Cie. If that was the case, then what could it be? He wanted to know what Nabaat had been trying to say.

He figured that his search would only come up with the titles of children’s books. But he was wrong. There were more history books listed than he would have imagined. There were copies of old texts, and videos of reference libraries there as well.
Sazh was trying to think of which one he should try first, when the baby chocobo came flying down on the control panel. The screen changed.
“Hey now, don’t touch the machine! If you’re going to play around, go over there.” He reached for the cancel button, but he looked closer at what had come up on the screen. It was a picture of an old text, strange symbols and writing carved into rock.
“What in the world is this?”
He recognized that symbol. In fact, he had just seen it half a day before. It was the mark he had seen on the back of Dajh’s hand. Sazh read the accompanying text that went with the picture, and he paled.
The “Mark of the l’Cie” that Nabaat had been talking about... wasn’t just something he had misheard.

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Three
I’ve never really understood the phrase “everything went black” until now. But it’s true. Not really black, but just not being able to see anything at all. No matter what you were looking at, it just won’t register.
I remember accessing the information from some University research group, or some think tank or something like that. But I don’t remember what it said. I remember reading it, that I’m sure of. I think it said something about the “l’Cie of the Sanctum” or something like that.

But none of it was information I wanted to know, what I wanted to hear. You know what dad wants to hear right? Just one thing. One simple thing. That his son is going to be alright.
I don’t know why I thought Lieutenant Nabaat would be able to tell me that. I was panicked. Every new thing I read was just so unbelievable. I didn’t want to believe it. I thought some soldier who had graduated at the top of her class would be able to tell me otherwise. Like a life preserver I held on to that thought.
It was only several days later that I finally got to see her. Three days after the accident...

“I am sorry to have kept you waiting for three days.” Nabaat bowed her head deeply. “I am sure you’ve been quite worried.” Her expression was sorrowful.
They were in a medical observation room, watching a monitor on the wall. The monitor showed Dajh playing with something that looked like a puzzle. They said that this was one of the things they were using in their investigation. Sazh wasn’t allowed to visit him yet, but Nabaat had prepared this monitor room for him, so that he could at least see that his son was alright.
“Whatever, I don’t care. But Dajh, my son...” Let me take him home, Sazh wanted to say, but didn’t. He looked at Dajh on the monitor, happily clapping his hands. There was the symbol, right there on the back of his hand. I can’t ask yet, he thought, we have to do something about that first. Before we go home.
“You probably have already realized, but...”
Nabaat looked as though she were going to say something that was difficult. She breathed, and said what she wanted to say.
“Your son has been chosen to be a l’Cie. By fal’Cie Kujata.”

For the past three days, Sazh had searched and studied about the l’Cie, as much as time would allow. But it had only made him lose hope. Nabaat was the last glimmer he had left. He was sure she would say, “You’ve got it all wrong. There is no way your son could be a l’Cie.” and laugh his fears away.
But at her words he fell into despair. He didn’t even realize he was yelling.
“How could you joke about this? The l’Cie are nothing but some old story....”
“I understand how you’re feeling.” Nabaat closed her eyes sadly. Sazh was at a loss for words. Should he tell her, “You understand nothing!” Or could he tell her, “Don’t sympathize with me!” No, it wouldn’t change anything. No matter what he said, nothing would change. Instead, he shoved those feelings deep within his heart.
I don’t understand this. Any of it. Sazh clenched his fists in frustration.
“We were surprised also.” She continued quietly.
“According to record, a l’Cie has not been chosen for hundreds of years. Not since the War of Revelations.”
“Then why? Why did this happen to Dajh?”

Why was it Dajh? There had been other children in the same place, tons of them. Children the same age as Dajh. No, did it even have to be child? There were adults there. It wouldn’t have matter if they had chosen one of them instead. So why, why did it choose Dajh?
“To be honest, we don’t know. We can only think that he was judged as the best choice by the fal’Cie.”
“A six year old child? That’s ridiculous!”
“Mr. Katzroy...” She opened her mouth as if to say something, but turned her eyes away without saying anything at all. She knows something, Sazh thought. She’s still hiding something from me.
“What is PSICOM... the Sanctum, going to do with Dajh?” Nabaat had said in the airship that Dajh’s safety was important. But Sazh knew the army wouldn’t put out so much effort for one civilian child.
“If you’ll keep what I’m about to tell what a secret...”
Bingo, Sazh thought. Nabaat stared straight into his eyes.
“A great danger is approaching Cocoon. We have watched Pulse, and we know that an invasion is on the way.”
“Huh?”

What could she mean an invasion? From Pulse? This was too big, he couldn’t understand what she meant.
“The Sanctum is holding back on making a public announcement of this, but what happened at the plant was no accident. It was the work of enemies from Pulse.”
That white mist, the ground trembling, the Sanctum had announced it as nothing but an accident. But it had been something planned, something from Pulse.
“The reason there was so little destruction was because of Dajh. He was chosen by the fal’Cie to be a l’Cie.”
“Impossible. How could a six year old child do anything?”
It was unbelievable. How could a six year old do anything against enemies from Pulse?
“It’s the truth.” Nabaat said, cutting him off.
“But the enemies escaped, they are still at large. We don’t know when or where there will be another attack. That is why we are asking that you cooperate.”
“Cooperate?”
He still couldn’t think of it as anything but a horrible joke. Cooperate? With what?
“Dajh has been chosen. He is the key to saving Cocoon. He may not have knowledge of his power, but the Sanctum will be providing back up for him. He will stand in the face of the invasion from Pulse. So please, Mr. Katzroy, please help us.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. It’s just too... much.”
He wanted to hear a more concrete explanation. He didn’t understand any of this. He didn’t care about this invasion from Pulse. He just wanted to know when he’d be able to take Dajh home.
... was there any chance they’d be able to return to a normal life?
“Yes, yes I do understand.” Nabaat nodded several times. She didn’t seem like a soldier then, but a teacher talking to a small child.
“We aren’t asking you to do anything special. We’d just like you to watch over him.”
I probably look like a sulky child right at this moment, Sazh thought.
“We don’t know what Focus or powers Dajh has been given. We are trying to find out as soon as possible, that is what we are investigating now. Unfortunately we cannot allow you to visit him yet, but I understand that you are worried. So please...”
Focus? Oh, of course. If a l’Cie does not complete their Focus they’ll turn into a Cie Corpse. That’s what she was saying. Right now the most important thing was to discover what his “Focus” was. He understood. In his head he understood, but in his heart...
“I’ll try to see if you’ll be allowed to see him tomorrow. But we’ll have to do as many tests as we can today. So please, just wait one more day.”
There was nothing else Sazh could say.

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Four
She wasn’t lying when she said tomorrow. It was evening, but I was finally allowed to see Dahj. I left you back in the room because I was worried if you went Dajh wouldn’t be able to figure out what his Focus was.
Don’t be mad! Dad really wants the two of you to meet. But the Lieutenant was right about kids. When something else takes their attention, they’ll forget about anything else. At the time, I didn’t really understand what they meant by Focus. Not really. But I was panicked. Not just then, but the whole time. I was just so... worried.
What does a six year old boy understand? Could he understand?
It’s all I could think about...

When they called Sazh in, it was a different room than he had been to yesterday. Instead of a monitor, there was a huge window. You could see the next room perfectly. But you couldn’t see into this room from the other side. If you could, Dajh would have seen him and come running. They probably used this room to monitor their subjects.
“Do you want to see him first? Or would you like me to tell you what we’ve found?”
“What you’ve found... please.”
He wanted to see Dajh very much, but he was worried about the results of tests. If he was thinking about it when he saw Dajh, he’d make his son worry. He thought it would be best to hear about it first.
In the next room there was an officer who was playing with Dajh. The man was probably in his early thirties. His cool silver hair and scar on his forehead looked as though it would scare children, but Dajh seemed to like him. The man probably liked children. His face looked grim, but you could tell by looking at him play with Dajh. Or perhaps he just took his duties seriously.
“Dajh is a good boy. He isn’t shy at all, and he listens to others.” Looking through the window, Nabaat smiled.

“Well his mother died when he was very young. He’s had to go to babysitters and through child care, so he’s gotten used to playing with other adults. That’s why I changed from a long distance route to a local one, so I could be more of a father.”
Before his wife had died three years ago, he had been all about his job. It had been his dream to become a pilot, and he had finally gotten signed on as a pilot for a long distance route. Everyday seemed perfect.

When he changed to a local route pilot all for his son, everyone was surprised. Even Sazh thought it was strange. He had worked so hard for it, to suddenly give it up like that. But he didn’t feel he was wrong. He realized for the first time what it was like to spend time with your child. It was fun, and it warmed his heart.
He didn’t want Dajh to be lonely, now that he didn’t have his mother. For the past three years he had worked and taken care of him as best he could. But, in reality, it was Dajh who had saved Sazh. His smiles and his laughter became things to live for.
“What did you find? Can you heal him of this... l’Cie thing?” I don’t want to lose Dajh’s smile, Sazh thought. But Nabaat’s eyes grew sad.

“With human technology... I’m sorry, but it’s just not possible.”
“No...” Sazh said, his voice seemed faint and far away. If Dajh doesn’t complete his Focus he’ll become a Cie Corpse. A monster. If he completes it he’ll become a crystal. The old texts had said, “The l’Cie who has completed their Focus will be turned to crystal and be granted eternity.” But to humans such a thing is the same as death.
Sazh looked to the other side of the window. The officer was giving Dajh a piggyback ride. Dajh was laughing and clapping his hands in delight. His smile was the same as ever, though now he was a ‘l’Cie’. Just because of some scribble on his hand, he’d never again to able to lead a normal life...

“And if you could take the mark off? If there was some sort of skin-grafting procedure, and you could just remove it?”
Even in the worst case, if they had to cut off his hand entirely, it would still be better than becoming a monster or a crystal. Even if he couldn’t use his hand anymore, he would still have a chance to live a happy life.
“We can’t. We don’t know what would happen to Dajh. There is so much we don’t know about the l’Cie... no, really we don’t know anything at all.”
“But...”
“I regret that there is nothing we can do about this. But right now we have to think about finding Dajh’s powers and Focus. We have to think of cutting off the mark as a last resort. We can’t rush this.”
That was easy to say, but they didn’t know how much time there was left. Whether the time limit for completing his Focus was tomorrow, or the day after, they couldn’t tell. It could even be a year or two from now...
“There has been some progress, however.”
“Progress? What are you talking about?”
“Well, this is still all hypothetical,” Nabaat started explaining, “It seems Dajh has the power to sense those from Pulse. He probably will be able to tell where the l’Cie that attacked Ewleede are, as well as the fal’Cie who controls them.”

The bit of hope he had fell back into despair. He can tell where those Pulse people were. But what would that do? He didn’t understand anything about that. He realized that this was the difference between himself and PSICOM. For those who are protecting Cocoon from Pulse, such an ability would definitely be seen as ‘progress’. They were the same as the fal’Cie. They only wanted to use Dajh.
He didn’t know what exactly it was he expected from PSICOM, from the Sanctum. He couldn’t depend on Nabaat or anyone in PSICOM. The only one who would do anything for Dajh would be himself.
“Please... let me see Dajh. Let me see my son.”
“Of course. Right this way please.” Nabaat stood up, smiling. He didn’t if it was because his feelings had changed, but he felt there was something cold behind her smile.
“Dajh has been very excited to hear that you’d be coming.”
What was she trying to make him do? He couldn’t trust her.
“Daddy!”
Dajh burst through the door as it opened.
“Dajh!”
Dajh leapt at him, and Sazh picked him up and held him. He felt the same as always. When he felt him in his arms, he realized what pain it would cause him if Dajh no longer existed. He didn’t want to lose this feeling, this warmth. He would protect him however he could.
“Hey, daddy...”
Quickly wiping his tears away from the corners of his eyes, he let Dajh down.
“What is it?” He knelt down and looked into Dajh’s face.
“I wanna see fireworks! Big ones!”
“Fireworks?”
“Yeah, big ones. Lots in the sky! Like this,” Dajh said, making a big circle in the air with his hands.
“Well, they still have all this testing to do, so maybe not now...”
“No! Fireworks! Big fireworks!”
He wanted to give Dajh anything he wanted. But he didn’t think PSICOM would let them. Now that they knew he had the power to feel those from Pulse, they would keep testing him until they knew his Focus.
“Well, how about after the tests?”
“No! The fireworks will be gone!”
Dajh was more insistent than usual. Normally, even if he’d demand what he wanted at first, eventually he’d give in and do as he was told. It made Sazh wish even more that he could give him what he wanted.
“But right now there are tests...” He looked at Nabaat. Dajh was a good kid, if it was explained to him that the tests were important, then he’d understand. He might be sad, but he’d still obey. But Nabaat said something completely unexpected.
“When you say they’ll be gone, do you mean the fireworks festival?”

That’s right, there was that fireworks festival in Bowdam a couple of days from now. He wondered if Dajh he noticed the posters that were up in Bowdam when they passed through on their way to see the fal’Cie.
“Why do you want to go? Do you like fireworks?”
Dajh looked up, as if searching for the answer. He pressed his lips together.
“What’s wrong Dajh?”
“..... it’s there.” He whispered, clinging to Sazh.
“What’s there?”
He pressed his nose against Sazh’s shoulder and shook his head.
“Okay, Dajh. We’ll all go see the fireworks together.” Nabaat said, while rubbing Dajh’s back. Was she serious?
“Lieutenant, are you sure we should...”
“I believe it would be worth checking out.” She pushed up her glasses with the tip of her finger, and nodded at the officer.

“We haven’t heard Dajh say anything like this before. It’s possible that if his power to sense those from Pulse is working, there will be something at the fireworks festival in Bowdam.”
Of course, how you treat others and how you treat your family is going to be different. Sazh kept quiet. They may want him to complete his Focus as soon as possible, but Sazh just wanted to take him to the fireworks festival. He didn’t want them testing Dajh anymore.

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Five
We were going to see the fireworks. Dajh was so happy, he ran and jumped around the room, yelling and screaming. Probably because he was so sick of all the tests they were doing on him. Even though that PSICOM officer, or those children’s psychology specialists would play with him, he was still like a bird trapped in a cage.

They had tested him over and over, but still they couldn’t figure out his Focus. The only thing they knew was that he could feel the existence of things from Pulse. No, even that I thought wasn’t the truth. I thought they were probably just telling me lies, because PSICOM wasn’t getting the results they were hoping for.

I didn’t believe any of it until we were riding on the airship to Bowdam. Oh yeah, you were on the airship too. Do you remember how Dajh looked when he first saw you? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him smile like that...

Sazh watched Dajh run up and down the passageways in the airship, his thoughts in turmoil. The baby chocobo was chasing after him. When the two boys... no, when the boy and the bird first met, they became friends right away. The cabin was in an uproar with the two of them bouncing about. Well, since there weren’t any other passengers Sazh let them do what they liked. When he thought about how Dajh had been closed up in that room for so long, he felt he had a right to be running around and having fun like this. He couldn’t tell him no. Nabaat didn’t seem to be troubled by it either. In fact, she had one of her underlings made a record of Dajh playing with the chocobo. Maybe they were using it as another test.

“Daddy I’m thirsty.” Dajh said, running up to where Sazh was sitting. He was probably tired of all that running about. Of course, the baby chocobo was right behind him, and used Sazh’s head as a landing pad. Sazh opened up a can of juice for him, and Dajh drank it in one big gulp. With all the running and yelling, it’s no wonder he was so thirsty.
“Oh yeah, we’ve got to name this little guy don’t we?”
When they first met, the little bird had started chasing him right away. There had been no time to start thinking of names.
“Ummm... a cool name! Like someone on TV!”

He was talking about the children’s shows that Dajh couldn’t go a day without watching. The main character was a baby chocobo, who was a hero of justice. Baby chocobos were so popular these days because of this show.
“But hey, what if it’s a girl? What would you do then?”
They say that even experts can’t tell what sex a chocobo is. Chocobos are quite mysterious creatures. They can understand human speech, and they have a strong homing instinct. That’s about all anyone knew.
“Okay, then a cool, cute name!”
“Well that’s a tall order. But you have enough time to think about it. He’s not going to be running away any time soon.”

Though how much time Dajh actually had left was the problem. Sazh sank into depression. What sort of Focus could a child of six have? One who can do nothing but jump and play and scream?
“Daddy, Daddy, what’s that!?” Dajh said, pointing out the window.
“Hm? Let me see. Oh that. That’s the ruins in Bowdam. We’ll be arriving there soon.”

Dajh pressed his forehead against the window, and stared down at the ruins. Sazh thought he had already seen the ruins from the train heading to Ewleede, but maybe the view from above gave a different impression than the view from below.
“I want to go inside.”
“Inside the ruins? Too bad, you can’t. There’s no door. No one even knows if there is an inside. It’s just some strange thing from Pulse...” Then Sazh remembered. A strange thing from Pulse? What was it that Nabaat was saying? Didn’t she say something about Dajh being able to sense things from Pulse?
“It’s inside.”
“Dajh... you...”
He was too afraid to say more.
“Dajh, is there something inside there?”
Suddenly Nabaat was standing beside them. She must have been listening.
“I... don’t know. But, it’s there.”
“I see. You don’t know what it is, but you know something is there?”
Looking out the window, Dajh nodded his head.
“Thank you. You’re such a good boy.” She said, and patted him on the head. She looked at Sazh as if to say, this is your child’s power.

But he still couldn’t believe it. Those ruins looked strange. Dajh was just interested in it because of that, he just wanted to try going inside.
“We will get an investigation team on it, and search the inside of those ruins. There is a chance that in there is a Pulse...”
“Are you kidding me? There is no way that could be possible!” Sazh yelled without realizing it. Dajh jumped and looked at him. Sazh calmed himself down.
“Don’t worry, daddy was just a little surprised. Sorry I yelled, I didn’t mean to surprised you like that.”
He took hold of Dajh, and held him on his lap. He didn’t want him to look out the window anymore.

I didn’t want to believe that he could really feel things from Pulse. I think, somewhere deep inside I still thought that they had it all wrong. There’s no way Dajh could be a l’Cie. So when I saw Dajh looking at those ruins like that, I just couldn’t stand it.

I wanted to keep believing that Dajh just wanted to see the fireworks festival, that it had nothing to do with Pulse. I was sure he had just heard people talking about it on the train from Bowdam to Ewleede. Even though I never told him about it, Dajh knew that the fireworks in Bowdam were said to grant wishes.

Hey, do you remember what Dajh wished for? “I hope daddy gets happy again.” he said. I knew I couldn’t continue to look so sad after that, when I was worrying even him. So I decided that I wouldn’t ever look sad or worried in front of Dajh again. Well, I gave it my best shot didn’t I? Even after what the Lieutenant said...

It was as bright as noon. It was nearing the end of the fireworks festival, and already so many fireworks had been shot into the sky.
Everyone had probably already finished with their wishes. They had all looked up into the sky, and said their oohs and aahs. Dajh was holding Sazh’s hand. He was jumping up and down, laughing and smiling.
“So Lieutenant Nabaat. How did it go?”
Both Sazh and Nabaat were the only ones looking somewhere completely different from those around them. Nabaat had been waiting on the airship for the report from the investigation team to come in. If she was here now, that meant...
“I’ve received a communication from the investigation team.” Nabaat said, her voice low. Sazh held is breath and waited for he to continue.
“There is a Pulse fal’Cie inside the ruins.”
The sound faded from the world. The blast of the fireworks, the cheers of the people, everything was gone. The only thing left was Nabaat’s voice.
“It’s quite embarrassing. Those ruins have been here for hundreds of years, but the Sanctum was unable to do anything about them. We have a lot to thank Dajh for.”
Dajh wasn’t even aware that Nabaat was talking about him. His hands were raised to the sky, jumping, as if he thought he could touch the fireworks.

“I mean, he did suddenly say he wanted to go to Bowdam, that there was “something there”. But who would have thought...”
Who would have thought that there would be a Pulse fal’Cie in Bowdam. Inside a ruin with no entrance or exit.
“Now we know for sure. Dajh can sense things from Pulse.”
“Nevermind that, what is his Focus? Is it just for him to sense them and find them?”
Nabaat’s expression grew clouded. “We are not sure just yet if that is the case.”
“But why not? I mean he found it for you didn’t he? Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I am sorry. There is too much we do not know. But I feel that it wouldn’t be something as simple as finding the Pulse fal’Cie...” She cut off her words. It seemed she didn’t want to say more than that. If his Focus was to find the Pulse fal’Cie, now that it’s been found in the ruins Dajh would have already turned into a crystal. Which meant that finding the fal’Cie has not completed his Focus.
Did he also have to find all of the l’Cie that were in hiding? Or maybe he had to not only find them, but defeat them as well. Either way, it too much to expect of a six year old boy.
“Daddy. Hey, Daddy!” Dajh was pulling on his arm.
“Oh, sorry. What’s up?”
“Let’s go to Nautilus Park next!”
Sazh and Nabaat looked at each other. Nautilus Park was a theme park run by the Sanctum. The park was the center of Nautilus City. Did Dajh sense more things from Pulse? It was probably the Pulse l’Cie.
“Is there... something there?”

He barely managed to keep his voice from shaking. If there were Pulse l’Cie in Nautilus Park, then this time might turn Dajh into a crystal.
“Yeah! There are lots chocobos! And the fluffy things!”
Sazh felt relieved. Dajh just wanted to see chocobos and sheep. Oh yeah, they had talked about Nautilus on the train to Ewleede. He was probably just remember that.
“It seems it doesn’t have anything to do with Pulse.”
Sazh nodded slightly.
“Take me, take me!”
He was about to tell him they’d go later, but Nabaat stepped in. He thought she must be disappointed that her expectations weren’t being met, but her expression was kind.
“Please tell me if there is anywhere else you want to go, okay?”

Oh, of course. Even if this time it isn’t right, there is always the next time. That is probably what she is thinking. Or maybe she was just thinking that a child who carries the heavy burden of a l’Cie deserves to have some fun, and wants to give that to him. No, not her. Definitely not her.
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”
“Nautilus Park!”
“Okay, okay. Then next time we’ll all go together. I promise.”
“Okay!”

Anyone looking on would probably think this was a sweet scene. Anyone who didn’t know the truth. Sazh looked away, and saw a familiar face. That silver haired soldier. What was his name? Lieutenant Rosch, he thought.
“Lieutenant Nabaat.” His voice was hard. Sazh got a bad feeling. Nabaat stood. Thinking Rosch was there to play with him again, Dajh’s face brightened. Sazh grabbed him and held him. What they were going to talk about was probably not something a child should hear.
“The decision has been made.”
Sazh listened to them speak, his back turned, as he took Dajh away from there.


Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Six
The “decision” Lieutenant Rosch had been talking about was a lock down on all of Bowdam and it’s residents. They came the day after the fireworks festival. PSICOM works fast. But what was really fast was how quick they set up the blockades around the Bowdam Ruins. Though I only heard about it later.

It seems that the investigation team that was sent in to the ruins never came back. Not a single one of them. After the team had sent a wireless transmission that told them of the fal’Cie, they lost their position. Instead of sending in a rescue team, PSICOM blocked off the ruins. Even though they could still be alive in there, somewhere.

Well, the soldiers might be able to except it all. But civilians are couldn’t. Do you think they’d just accept it? No, of course not. I was the same. No explanations, just being told we couldn’t leave the city. Who would just sit down and take it? Especially on that day, when it wasn’t only the residents of Bowdam. Tourists from all over Cocoon were there. On that day, after the fireworks festival, it was madness...

After the festival was over, we stayed the night in the security force garrison. Originally they were going to return to the medical center in Eden during the night, but when Dajh said “Are we going already?”, they changed plans. They thought that perhaps he was feeling something from Pulse and wanted to stay.

The investigation staff that was testing Dajh had come with them to the festival, but they wouldn’t be able to continue their tests at the garrison. Separating them into different rooms would have looked strange as well, so they were finally given permission to spend time together.

Nabaat had already asked that they continue monitoring Dajh. She said that any small thing that he might said could be an important clue. Sazh couldn’t refuse. Well, even if he had refused, they would have still set up a hidden camera or put up voice recorders. They were going to be watched no matter what. Sazh knew that quite well enough. In any case, Dajh was happy. He jumped on the bed with the baby chocobo beside him, and ran around the room until night fell.
Sazh thought Dajh would oversleep the next day, but he woke up at the same time he always did, looking sleepy. He ate his breakfast quickly, and when he saw the baby chocobo playing around, all he wanted to do was play too, his weariness forgotten.

Dajh probably wanted to come to Bowdam to get away from all those tests. Right now had didn’t seem to have any connection with Pulse, or things from Pulse. He wasn’t at all like he was when he had first said he wanted to come here to see the fireworks.
“Daddy, I wanna watch TV!”
“What? Oh right, it’s that time.”
It was only a fifteen minute children’s program, but Dajh always watched it before going to daycare. Dajh would watch it while Sazh was getting dressed, and once it was finished Dajh would turn off the TV and they’d head out the door together.

Sazh had thought that until Dajh grew too old to be watching children’s shows they would continue this everyday ritual. Once he finished work he’d go to the daycare center to pick up Dajh, and on the way home they’d talk about what to have for dinner, stopping to pick up things at the store... What had been an everyday thing now seemed like a miracle. But that miracle was gone, it’s light grown cold.
“Daddy, the TV is weird!” Dajh said unhappily. Sazh looked up, remembering where he was.
“All the channels are the same.”
“That’s... Bowdam Station.”
It showed soldiers at Bowdam Station, and the station blocked off. The voice of a female newscaster came on over the video.
“Last night a fal’Cie from Pulse was found in the ruins around Bowdam Bay. The Sanctum has made the decision to close off the city of Bowdam and it’s surrounding areas.”

The picture changed to a video of the airship force above the station. Sazh ran over to the window. He could see the military’s high speed ships take off, and soldiers running around on the grounds. The sky in the direction of the station was filled with military ships. The video narration continued.
“The Sanctum has revealed that the accident that occurred at the Ewleede Canyon energy plant was in fact destruction caused by Pulse l’Cie.”

He turned back at the word “Pulse”. There were people who were rushing the station, and the soldiers were pushing them back. They were probably tourists. We don’t even live here, they were probably saying, we just happened to be here. Why is this happening to us?
Sazh could understand their confusion. He felt it himself seven days ago.
“With the recent chain of events, the anxiety of the people in this city is rising. Some voices are saying that measures stronger than quarantine must be taken.”
He didn’t want to hear anymore. He didn’t want to see people who wore his own expression of despair. Sazh turned off the TV.
“No TV today. You’ll have to watch it tomorrow. Look, he wants to play with you.”

The baby chocobo flew out from his hair. Dajh laughed and the ran around the room together. Now he had probably forgotten all about that children’s program he had wanted to watch.
There was a knock at the door, as if someone was waiting just for that moment. They probably had been waiting. After all, this room was being monitored. When he opened the door, Nabaat was on the other side.
“Mr. Katzroy, we will be leaving here as soon as possible. Please get ready.”
“Are you sure? What about sensing things from Pulse or whatever it was...”
She glanced over Sazh’s shoulder into the room beyond. When she saw that Dajh was absorbed in playing with the baby chocobo, she said in a low voice:
“The Sanctum has decided to force all the citizens of Bowdam to leave the city.”
Which meant that they had decided to force all those who had the possibility of being from Pulse to leave the city, to be sent to Pulse. She spoke of it as though it were just the next thing to do after putting a city into quarintine.
“After we it is announced we expect there to be quite an uproar.”
That was an understatement. Given how the people already felt about being blocked from leaving the city. If they were forced to go down to Pulse, to hell, it would end with civilians attacking the soldiers. It would be just a matter of time.
“Of course we must hurry to find the Pulse l’Cie, but keeping Dajh safe is important above all. Once the airship is ready to set out we’ll leave.”
Nabaat turned and walked out of the room, leaving only her words behind her.

It was only a short time later that they left the garrison. They didn’t tell them whether or not they would be returning to the medical center, they were only told to get on the airship. Dajh left their room without resisting or making a fuss.

Sazh though that he’d play around with the baby chocobo like he did before, on their trip to Bowdam, but instead he kept quiet. He sat, staring at Bowdam through the window.
“Daddy, something is flying.” Dajh whispered.
“The skies in Bowdam have been locked down by PSICOM’s air fleet, so that’s no surprising. I’m sure there’s lots of... huh?”
Looking out from the side, he saw the “something” that Dajh was pointing at. It looked like your average military high-speed ship, but it’s movements were strange.
“What are they doing?”
Then he knew why it was so strange. They were being chased by others military ships. Even being attacked by them. The other ship was trying to avoid the attacks, weaving in and out, making their flight path look strange. The ship was headed for the ruins, going straight for them.

“They’re falling!” Dajh screamed. The ship had been hit, with black smoke billowing out behind it, but still they were growing closer to the top of the ruins. Then someone jumped from the ship.
“A civilian?”
From here it looked like a young girl. She held out her hand to the ship, and yelled something. Of course, that’s why they were being chased. Some civilians had stolen the ship. Then the girl was sucked into the ruins. The ship she had been riding on disappeared from sight. What just happened?
“Dajh, did you see someone jump from that ship onto the ruins?”
Nabaat was standing behind them. Dajh nodded.
“And did you see them disappear?”
“They didn’t disappear. They’re inside.”
It seems that it wasn’t just his eyes tricking him, she really did get sucked into the ruins. But that would mean that there were people who were in the ruins, trapped by the Pulse fal’Cie.
“Good job, Dajh.” Nabaat said, and patted him on the head. What was she talking about? Sazh thought. Shouldn’t they be trying to rescue that girl?
“You... you have to rescue her!”
“No, we do not. Those ruins will be taken to Pulse, closed off as they are now. It’s going the same place as the rest of the citizens of Bowdam, so there is no problem.”
Sazh couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They were just going to send it to Pulse? Is that really what she said?
“Besides, it is highly probable that she was a Pulse l’Cie. Don’t you think so?”

Your son’s enemy, was what she was really saying. She looked a Dajh. He had already lost interest in what was outside the window and was running around with the baby chocobo. Dajh had sensed something else from Pulse, but his Focus was still not complete. Even though he had seen a girl who might be a Pulse l’Cie, he was still hadn’t turned into a crystal. Which meant that Dajh’s Focus was to find Pulse fal’Cie, or l’Cie, and defeat them.
“Dajh showed interest in the ship that was carrying the girl. So it is probably best that we send the ruins to Pulse without tampering with them.”
Sazh felt something inside him snap.
“Oh, you think it’s for the best? What the hell is wrong with you? If we send that to Pulse...”
If it was sent to Pulse then no one on Cocoon would be able to reach it. Then Dajh would never be able to complete his Focus.
“If we send it to Pulse? Then the citizens of Cocoon will be freed from the menace of Pulse.”
“You may be okay with that, but what about Dajh? You’ll just let him turn into a Cie Corpse? Then what have you been doing all these stupid tests on him for?”
Nabaat didn’t even bat an eyelash.
“Of course, we are doing this for the people of Cocoon. Are you saying anything is more important than that?”
“Wha...”
He had never been so angry, the words caught in his throat. He clenched his fists, but they shook uncontrollably.
“Do not misunderstand, Mr. Katzroy. It is my job to protect the citizens of Cocoon from the threat that Pulse represents.”
Her words were cold, like ice. A terrible smile hovered at her lips.
“It wouldn’t be good to yell too much, would it? Do think of how your son is feeling right now.”

Sazh looked around for Dajh. This wasn’t a conversation a child should be listening to. Fortunately he was absorbed in climbing over the seats, and hadn’t even noticed them. Relieved, he felt all the energy seep out of his legs. He fell into the seat behind him, and held his head in his hands. He heard her retreating footsteps, but couldn’t muster the energy to do anything about it.

There is nothing I can do, he thought. He knew it from the start. To PSICOM and the Sanctum Dajh was nothing but a tool to be used as they wished. So long as Cocoon was safe, one single child was nothing to them. Not just Nabaat, but all of PSICOM--no, all of Cocoon felt the same way.

Of course Sazh felt that so long as Dajh was safe, the rest of Cocoon could go to hell. Which meant that he was the only one who could do anything for his son. He would just have to complete Dajh’s Focus for him, with his own hands. It wouldn’t matter if it was completed or not, they still wouldn’t be able to return to the life they knew. The only thing that was waiting for him was death or something equal to it. Still, a crystal was far better than a monster.

He would have to destroy the Pulse fal’Cie. But could he do it? He was a normal man. Could a normal man destroy something as powerful as a fal’Cie? No, that wasn’t the problem. He remembered the girl screaming something, standing on the top of the ruins. It was impossible that she should have been there, she shouldn’t have been able to avoid all of those soldiers, and get to the ruins. But she did. Just as Nabaat had said, they were probably Dajh’s enemies. But they had given him hope. Even if it was something that should be impossible, he had every reason to try.
“Dajh...” He had only meant to say it in his heart, but the name escaped his lips.
“What is it Daddy?”
Dajh was on the seats behind him. He jumped on his back and looked at Sazh’s face.
“No... no it’s nothing.” His vision became blurred. He looked out the window. “Dad’s going to take a little nap, okay?”
“Okay.” Dajh said, running off. Sazh laid there, with his eyes closed, listening to the chirping of the baby chocobo, and Dajh’s happy screams.

When they returned to the medical center they were put in separate rooms. Sazh had at least wanted the baby chocobo to go with Dajh, but was denied.
“No! I want to stay with Daddy!”
Dajh held on to the hem of Sazh’s coat and wouldn’t let go. Maybe Dajh knew what he was planning. That he was going to destroy the fal’Cie in the ruins before they got a chance to send it to Pulse.
“I’m sorry Dajh, but we have tests we need to do. You’ll just have to wait a little longer. Tomorrow we’ll even let you play with your father a little while. Would that be alright?” Nabaat smiled.
Dajh looked lost. He held on tight to Sazh.
“Once you’re finished with the tests, I’ll buy you whatever you want. What would you like? A picture book? A huge chocobo toy?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. Whatever you want, just ask.”
“I want to go to Nautilus Park! I want to see all the chocobos!”
Again with Nautilus Park. He said that during the fireworks festival too. He must really want to go there and see all those chocobos. He had planned to have Dajh ask him for something, so he could have an excuse to leave and head towards the ruins. But Dajh wasn’t asking for things. He wanted a place, he wanted to spend time with his father. So he made a promise. What else could he do?
“Okay, after you’re finished with your tests, we’ll go to Nautilus Park together.”
The baby chocobo chirped as if telling them not to forget him.
“Of course we’ll bring the little one too.”
“Okay! You promise, right Daddy?”
“I promise.”
A promise he would never be able to keep. If Sazh defeated the fal’Cie, Dajh would become a crystal before the testing was even over. If he couldn’t defeat it... he would be a Cie Corpse.
“Just do a good job on your tests, okay?”

Dajh nodded as Sazh set him on the floor and let go of him. He looked so happy that he would get to go to Nautilus Park. He was smiling. That smile had always lifted Sazh, held him up. It was his treasure. I won’t let you become a monster, he vowed. Even if you become a crystal, I want you to keep smiling to the end...
He burned Dajh’s face into his memory, and tried to smile himself. He wondered if he was able to. He couldn’t let Dajh or Jihl know that right now he was saying goodbye.
“Alright then Dajh, we’ll you go back to your room now? I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay. Daddy, you promise, right?” He said, and ran through the door. Just as he had been there, suddenly he was gone. Sazh clenched his teeth. This was for the best...
“Thank you for cooperating, Mr. Katzroy.”
“Uh, no that’s...”
It was as if she had already forgotten what had been said on the airship. She bowed to him slightly. She was good, he didn’t know if he would be able to go against her. But he had to find a way to outwit her. He tried his best to calm himself before he spoke.
“There is just one thing I’d like to ask of you.”
He knew he was being watched, just as Dajh was. If was going to get to Bowdam, first he would have to make an excuse to leave.
“I’d like to go to Palumpolum and buy a picture book or a toy or something, you know, for Dajh.”

There was a huge shop in Palumpolum that had nothing but books and toys for children. When he was a long distance route pilot he would often stop at that store and buy all sorts of presents for Dajh. At the time he didn’t really know what Dajh would like, so he’d just buy the first thing he’d see. It would make his wife laugh.
“Well, you know... it must be hard for a child that young to go through all those tests. I’d like to buy him something to entertain him, to make him stop thinking about it. You know, just that.”
“Yes, I’m sure that would make Dajh very happy.”
“If I left now and hurried, I could be back by late tomorrow afternoon. But if Dajh asks anything about me, you’ll not tell him where I went? I don’t want him to worry.”
“Of course, I understand.” she said, smiling. Then she said:
“Well then, why don’t we take you in one of our military airships? If you’re going to Palumpolum it would be far quicker than going by any civilian flights.”

Just as I figured, Sazh thought. They were going to keep watching him no matter what. He was glad he chose Palumpolum. If it had been a small town he wouldn’t be able to shake them, but in a big crowded city like Palumpolum it would be easy to disappear.
“That would be a big help, thanks.”
This had to work. It had to. He forced himself to smiled.

Episode Zero: Part III [Treasure] Chapter Seven
I actually had no problems getting away from my watchdogs. I had always gone to that store to buy presents for Dajh. I knew every corner. That’ll teach them to underestimate a civilian. Once I left Palumpolum, I jumped from trains to rental airbikes, never stopping. I couldn’t stop.

The most difficult part should have been trying to get into Bowdam, but it was far easier than I would have thought. PSICOM had orders to let nothing out, not even a rat. But they wouldn’t suspect anyone trying to get in.

I told them my wife and child were in the city, so I wanted to be with them. If they were going to be sent to Pulse, then they could at least be sent as a family. It was so easy, they didn’t even bother checking me. I did pretty well, don’t you think?

Well now it’s time we part ways, me and you. After all, Pulse is said to be hell. Before I get there though, I’ll have to defeat that fal’Cie. That won’t be easy. So, I’m sorry to say, I just can’t take you with me. I don’t think any soldiers will stop me from letting you out of the city. Once you’re outside of Bowdam, you can go wherever you want. We were only together a short while, but you’ve helped me out a lot. You helped out Dajh too, I think. Gave him something to be cheerful about. So, thanks.

Gwaaaah, what the hell!? What are you doing? Owowowow. Quite attacking me with your beak! What’s wrong with you!
Do you... want to come with me? So you don’t think I can handle it on my own? Alright, alright. Fine. Will complete his Focus for him, and we’ll return to him together. Okay?

Oh yeah, we never did find a name for you. Dajh was so into playing with you, he couldn’t even remember to do that. When we get back it will be the first thing we do. What was it, a cool, cute name? Yeah, we’ll give you one of those. A promise, just between us guys. Well... no one can tell what sex chocobos are, but whatever..

All the trains at Bowdam Station were blocked off, except one. The one that was left goes to Hanged Edge, at the farthest end of Cocoon. It was the train that went to Pulse, the only train that went there. The rail was old and rusted.

Everything had changed from what it was like on the news yesterday. No one was going against the soldiers. They had all given up, were in despair. Now they were all heading towards their last train ride.
He couldn’t let them know that he was there for a different reason. That he wasn’t heading towards Pulse, he was heading towards the Pulse fal’Cie. Sazh walked like the rest of them, looking down at his feet. Even so, he felt he had more hope than these others. He had a plan, he was going towards something. Even if he never saw his beloved son again...
“When we get on there, we’ll never get to come back again. You still okay with that?” He said in a quiet voice to the baby chocobo riding on his head. He felt a peck through his hair.
“Ow. Okay, I get you. We're in this together.”
Let’s go then, he whispered, heading towards the entrance of the station. To the start of a new journey, one with no return ticket.