Tuesday, April 16, 2013

New and exciting life coming up!

Have been 2 long years since I last posted about my life. well, alot of interesting things have happened to me, learnt more about life than I did 2 years ago. seeing alot of different people come and go in my life, how they live life, how they value life. really, until now, human beings still interest me, how they work, how they think, how they feel, still very dynamic, can never finish learning about human beings and relationships. Im ultimately a human being, I do however, want to keep improving myself as a human being so that I can be better liked by everyone, not gonna be easy but I wont give up having a better relationship with anyone.

deep down im really very very thankful and grateful that I have met with alot of amazing people that have shaped and changed my life and without them, i wouldnt have such an amazing life right now :) who I want to be, I have to associate with the kind of people that I want to become, wont you guys agree?


well its been a very long time since I last blog, will blog again when I have something in mind which is very strongly needing a place to shout, sorry blog that you are the best thing around to listen to me shout :)



Have you guys ever wonder? wonder? wonder? a quote by brian tracy :)


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Colour of my weiqi world

when i first played weiqi, the world i saw was so exciting, interesting, playful and filled with lots of bright colours like a never ending journey. after i met alot of friends and hsia lao shi my weiqi world changed, i was like walking in the desert with all my friends talking and treasuring the times with have there and my weiqi was more of a white colour and i can see the weiqi board and stones in my head perfectly and i would say that my qi gan at that time was very good. suddenly everything turned black, the weiqi board and stones in my head turned foggy and it seems that it shrink smaller that i cant see the board clearly anymore. my weiqi world everything turned black, my qi gan has gone down to 0%. y is this happening? still searching for an answer...... i will try to revert back to my starting point and start from there, the way i trained last time.

someone asked me y i bother to train my juniors when i should be training myself full time, i told him maybe its part of being the captain jobs, he told me i think u dun need to train them full time, infact they should rely on themself more than on u for improvement, i said ya told them that many times le just didnt get that into their heads.

thought of this thing for sometimes, to be a good leader first u must be a good follower, i thought of this when i was thinking how to make those junior listen to me more....i asked myself m i a good follower, i think nope...thats y i cant be a good leader, reason being if i can think in the shoes of my follower or like them then i can understand them more and get them to follow me instead of someone else. being a good guy is hard, being a bad guy is also hard. good guy ppl will climb on ur head and stamp on u. bad guy ppl will start to boycott u and scare of u and all those nasty things. how to be good and bad at the same time, need to learn to adapt to situation.

i have always solved all problems on my own, this time will also be the same solving all this problems. i have got to find back my colour of my weiqi!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

watashi no kimochi (random)

i was shock myself when the first few thing i thought of is to make the dropout rate lesser in mindsports club and ppl taking training more seriously (if they got something in mind). i didnt thought about the good results n so on. Maybe thats what i wanted to see after i graduate from nyp, a mindsports club weiqi sub club have more ppl becoz of interest staying back n not for the cca points or for the girls or boys. well now as a trainer in mindsports club, i will feel satisfied n happy if those ppl i'm teaching are attentive, interested and serious(serious for ppl who want to be competitive lah). felt really sad that i come n teach and everyone is like not listening, talking to their friends or playing weiqi, ya now i no how lecturers feel when they teach and we are not interested to listen haha. wanted to see weiqi club with lots of ppl competitive or none competitive to play weiqi, go out n help out in lots of events to come after i graduate. lets talk :)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year! eat vegeterian year! T_T

Happy New Year! ppl! ok heres the new year resolution, make it to 6D and pass all my modules

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wish by Sowelu

Wish(Hiragana)


世界中いくつの
愛の形あるんだろう
一人一人 違うものを
抱えながら生きてる

家族や友達や
同じゴール見る仲間
みんながいて 支え合って
今の私がいるの

いつも側にあった大切なもの
気づかずにいた事知った

自分の為だけに
生きるのは寂しい
せっかくこの世界に生まれたんだから
Everybody have to say good-bye
それならいくつもの
笑顔をあなたにあげたい

小さな頃見てた
新しいものたちが
今ではもう 当たり前に
なってしまってるけど

時が経つにつれて
目に映るもの全て
変わってゆく 壊れてゆく
でも記憶はそのまま

暗闇の中 見つけた星たちは
まだ心の中で光る

自分の痛みより
あなたに伝えたい
何十億人もの中出会えたから
Everybody have to say good-bye
だからこそ素直に
たくさん笑顔を見せたい

限られた時の中で
ah 何かできるだろう
どんなに悲しい事 辛い事も
必ず笑顔に変えるから
きっと…

Everybody needs somebody's love
愛が必要なの
愛される事でまた笑顔になれるから
Everybody wants to be happy
あなたの幸せを
祈りながら私は歌ってる

Wish(English)


How many forms of love
are there in this world?
Everybody is holding on
to different things living in this world

Family and friends and
companions with the same goal
Because of everyone
thats why I am here today

Always been important side
He learned the old unawares

It is lonely
to live only for yourself
Since I was born into this world
Everybody have to say good-bye
So I hope to bring you
countless smiles

Since watching things when I was little
New things
have already been granted
I lay in them

As time goes by
Though all eyes
are changed and broken,
Memory is intact

The stars that were found in the dark
Still glow in the mind

Because my pain
I want to tell
The billions of people I meet
Everybody have to say good-bye
That's why meekly
I want to smile a lot

In a limited time
What can be done
No matter how tragic or tough it gets
It will turn into happiness in the end
Definitely…

Everybody needs somebody's love
Love is necessary
Because being loved by things can let you smile again
Everybody wants to be happy
I pray for
your happiness as I sing

Wish(Romanji)


Sekaijuu ikutsu no
Ai no katachi arundarou
Hitori hitori chigau mono wo
Kakaenagara ikiteru

Kazoku ya tomodachi ya
Onaji GOAL miru nakama
Minna ga itte sasaeatte
Ima no watashi ga iru no

Itsumo soba ni atta taisetsu na mono
Kizu kazu ni itakoto shitta

Jibun no tame dake ni
Ikiru no wa sabishii
Sekkaku kono sekai ni
Umaretanda kara

EVERYBODY HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE
Sorenara ikutsumono
Egao wo anata ni agetai

Chiisana kono miteta
Atarashii monotachi ga
Imade wa mou atarimae ni
Natte shimatteru kedo

Toki ga tatsu ni tsurete
Ne ni utsuru mono subete
Kawaate yuku kowarete yuku
Demo kioku sono mama

Kurayami no naka mitsuketa hoshitachi wa
Mada kokoro no naka de hikaru

Jibun no itami yori
Anata ni tsutaetai
Nanjuu o-kunin mono naka de aeta kara

EVERYBODY HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE
Dakara koso sunawoni
Kakusan egao wo misetai

Kagirareta toki no naka de
AH, nani ga dekiru darou
Donna ni kanashii koto tsurai koto mo
Kanarazu egao ni kaerukara kitto

EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY'S LOVE
Ai ga hitsuyou wo na no
Aisareru koto de mata egao ni nareru kara
EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE HAPPY
Anata no shiawase wo
Inori nagara watashi wo utatteru


i will be singing this if i got the chance to, sorry that i left u guys out today

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Lyrics for kimi ga iru kara :)

English

Because you suddenly said, “it’s alright to cry”
I was somehow happy and smiled without a tear

Unfortunately, I’ve hurt you with overly clumsy words
Nevertheless you haven’t left me
You keep supporting me even now, surely…

The wishes and dreams I want to fulfill, all the feelings I want to send out
That in which I keep believing, summons a miracle and gets connected to the future
I want to watch over you, always, yes always
Dear my friends

Because you told me, “you will be alright”, at the time of our parting
The loneliness I felt, disappeared beautifully with those few words

Opening a new door is something everyone is afraid of
But when I remember how you've always encouraged me
I am filled with strength

I won’t surrender my honest feelings, all these honest words
If I can convey them with my voice, the future will spread out
Because you are in my heart, forever, yes forever
Dear my friends

Even if I stop or seem to forget
I vow that I will always keep moving forward
The sky above me is shining its light
Until the day I can meet you

I won’t surrender my honest feelings, all these honest words
If I can convey them with my voice, the future will spread out

The wishes and dreams I want to fulfill, all the feelings I want to send out
That in which I keep believing, summons a miracle and gets connected to the future
I want to watch over you, always, yes always
Dear my friends

Romanji

“naita tte ii n da yo” kimi ga fui ni sou itte kureta kara
nanda ka ureshikute namida ja naku egao ga koboreta

bukiyou sugiru kotoba de kimi wo kizu tsukete shimatta
soredemo hanareta ri shinaide
ima mo kou shite sasae ni natte kurete ru n da kitto…

kanaetai negai kanaetai yume todoketai omoi subete
shinji tsudzukeru koto ga kiseki o yonde mirai ni tsunagatte yuku yo
zutto nee zutto mimamotte ite hoshii
dear my friends

“kimi nara daijoubu da yo” wakare kiwa ni sou itte kureta kara
kanjite ta kodoku ga sono hitokoto de kirei ni nakunatte

atarashii tobira wo hiraku sore wa dare demo kowakute fuan darake dakedo
senaka wo oshite kureta kimi wo omoidaseba
chikara ga afurete kuru kara ne

sunao na kimochi yuzurenai mono shoujiki na kotoba subete
koe ni shite tsutaeru koto ga dekita nara mirai wa hirogatte yuku yo
itsumo sou itsumo kokoro ni kimi ga iru kara
dear my friends

tachidomatte mo wasuresou ni natte mo
nando mo nando demo mae wo muite yuku to chikau yo
miageta sora hikari ga sashikonde iru
kimi ni mata aeru hi made

sunao na kimochi yuzurenai mono shoujiki na kotoba subete
koe ni shite tsutaeru koto ga dekita nara mirai wa hirogatte yuku yo

negai kanaetai yume todoketai omoi subete
shinji tsudzukeru koto ga kiseki o yonde mirai ni tsunagatte yuku yo
zutto zutto mimamotte ite hoshii
dear my friends

Hiragana

「泣いたっていいんだよ」 君が不意にそう言ってくれたから
なんだか嬉しくて 涙じゃなく 笑顔がこぼれた

不器用すぎる言葉で 君を傷つけてしまった
それでも 離れたりしないで
今もこうして 支えになってくれてるんだ きっと…

叶えたい願い 叶えたい夢 届けたい 想い すべて
信じ続ける事が 奇跡を呼んで 未来に繋がってゆくよ
ずっと ねぇずっと 見守っていて欲しい
Dear My Friends

「君なら大丈夫だよ」 別れ際にそう言ってくれたから
感じてた孤独が その一言で 綺麗になくなった

新しい扉を開く それは誰でも怖くて不安だらけだけど
背中を押してくれた 君を思い出せば
力が溢れてくれるからね

素直な気持ち ゆずれないもの 正直な 言葉 すべて
声にして伝えることが出来たなら 未来は広がってゆくよ
いつも そういつも 心に君が居るから
Dear My Friends

立ち止まっても 忘れそうになっても
何度も何度でも 前を向いてゆくと誓うよ
見上げた空 光が差し込んでいる
君に また会える日まで

素直な気持ち ゆずれないもの 正直な 言葉 すべて
声にして伝えることが出来たなら 未来は広がってゆくよ

願い 叶えたい夢 届けたい 想い すべて
信じ続ける事が 奇跡を呼んで 未来に繋がってゆくよ
ずっと ずっと 見守っていて欲しい
Dear My Friends

Monday, November 30, 2009

Final Fantasy 13

i wish i had a ps3 to play this wonder full game....no money T_T. anyway go watch the trailer its very heart racing to play this game...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I9v7EsA-wU&feature=player_embedded

Lightning the main character my favourite haha





waiting for a chance to play this game....anyway i have the song kimi ga iru kara final fantasy 13 theme song can get from me heehee =)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

nanning

guys, going off to nanning soon....my last experience is that its a city of sex -_-|||......anyway, i would give it a try to share rooms with zhao lao shi for a wk...if it sucks.....than i wont share room with him next time....alright lor see u guys in a wk

Friday, August 28, 2009

NYP

i have done enough for NYP...if NYPians push it again, i'm going to stop helping NYP...

whats wrong with the NYP TEAM, its has no spirit in it...n y m i the only one holding onto it when everyone is just laying back...the worst is whats up with TEAM one...our captian doesnt really care about the team too...xie tang didnt come he also never mind, ask him to remind xie tang(what a captian should do) he everything push to me ask me to ask...he have no spirit for the team....n xie tang totally not intereted in this TEAM just want come than come dun feel like coming than dun come, dun want to play half way go home....AHH!! whats with this lay back attitude, i dun want to play for this kind of TEAM anymore if this keeps up i want to stop playing for NYP....rubbish words are "i should play for NYP" no! i'm playing weiqi for myself not NYP, the reason i'm playing for NYP now is becoz i can get alot alot of chances to play weiqi thats y i joined....n seeing this attitude i dun want to play for NYP anymore....


second is so call TEAM two, in short our junior...totally, i dun want to care about them anymore....ask them play weiqi, "oh i sure lose de lah, his RANK higher than me"... no fighting spirit....not listen to our arrangement for training....some find LOADS of excuses to skip training, others dun see themself can improve so no feeling to train weiqi.....dun say i have not been encouraging them.....every single time..i have been encouraging them....but every single time no listen....cant we have a single good attitude junior at least i can feel better train them. captian dun really care about those juniors T_T n the juniors are listening to the other seniors-juniors instead of the trainer n captian....SIGH!

this sep, i'm going to give NYP one more chance, if they push it in the training, i'm going to stop training them n focus on training myself....remember ONE more chance ONLY...dun push it...

last time NYP all went to eat dinner n lunch together de, now its juniors all go themself leaving the cap n me behind....didnt even ask want to go eat or not....this is so sad T___T

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

ALIEN!

i can feel it, its in me, its part of my existence, its running in my blood, my veins...i'm part alien being....

Monday, July 27, 2009

interesting post from my friend (for guys)

1. We only talk about our ex boyfriends to explain how much better YOU are than they were, no other reason.

2. IT'S THE TRUTH! We need a little challenge too. It's OK to act a little uninterested sometimes (don't go screwing some other chick or extreme behavior of the sort), we like to have to work to keep you by our side too. If you are too sweet, too fast, a girl could possibly lose interest.

3. We don't buy things because we expect gifts back, we are being genuinely nice.

4. Girls don't always want to hang out with girls. Just because we have guy friends does not mean that we want to be with them. We probably already had the chance and didn't take it.

5. If you mess up, we will almost always get angry before we actually calmly explain everything.

6. We do not all like dollies and pink. Do not treat us like we are fragile.

7. If we complain to you, it is because we confide in you, not because we want to torture you.

8. Don't expect us to make the same mistakes your ex did. If we do, it is not because there is some huge conspiracy against you. Maybe you are making a mistake, not us. Do not compare our mistakes to hers.

9. Girls get jealous too, usually worse than guys. We always feel like we have to fight for you, and will say anything mean about any girl you were speaking to, even if we never met her. Don't take offense, be glad we care so much about it.

10.
Do not make promises or tell us you'll call when you know you'll forget or fall asleep. We will wait hours for that call. Just tell us you'll talk to us tomorrow.

11. if there's another girl, tell us. You might be surprised at our reaction. We don't all want to be serious either. It beats sneaking around.

12. We really do feel unattractive or overweight. There is a lot of competition out there. We need to be assured, even if its 600 times.

13. We don't search for compliments in the way you think. We are helping you by telling you exactly what we need to hear. Do not get annoyed, it will most likely cause an argument.

14. We want to hear we are prettier than the girl in the magazine, even if its not true. We don't think its cheesy. Stick to it, no matter how hard we push you.

15. We DO want to be called hot by you, just not all the time. Change it up.

16. We know you don't care about what happened in our day, but listen. It hurts us a lot when you don't pay attention.

17. We watch plenty of movies with you where girls remove clothing and do outrageously abnormal sexual things. When we ask you to watch a love story with us, we only want to spend time with you. It will not kill you, and it doesn't make you less of a man.

18. We don't mean to embarrass you. Don't get so angry with us when we do. We already feel terrible. We'll try not to next time.

19. Flowers and chocolate don't make everything better. You do.

20. We don't want to change you. We met you the way you are, and we love you. The suggestions are just that. We are used to changing a lot about our appearance, and mean not to offend you.

21.
We are not all materialistic. Back rubs and making us dinner (even if its a sandwich because you can't cook!) are plenty sweet enough.

22. We like to pamper you, just don't take advantage.

23. Don't expect us to cook for you all the time. If we do, appreciate it, and let us know you do.

24. We don't really want a fairytale romance. You have your fantasy girls, we have our fantasy love. It's meant to stay that way. We want what's real, too.

25. We think you are the hottest guy in the world, no matter what anyone says, or what you do.

26. If you are a friend, do not ever agree with a girl when she calls her boyfriend anything along the lines of an asshole. Stand up for him and try to be positive. She may get mad initially, but she will later appreciate it and probably realize she was just overreacting. If she loves him, even if he really is a jerk, she will not take your advice to leave him. She will only do that when she feels she is ready to. If you try to convince her she will question your motives and may not want to speak to you.

27. Don't expect us to always come to you. We want you to come see us too.

28. We don't like to be nagged about where we are going or what we are doing either, but we usually hear you out.

29. We might let you go, but we are never "cool" wih you going to strip clubs. We are being very understanding by letting you go. It is advised that you be just as understanding about our feelings towards it. Please do not come home and tell us about it. We'll like to pretend it never happened.

30. Do not call us crazy. We are emotional and act in mysterious ways, but you are pushing a huge button when you call us crazy.

31. We go to the club to dance with our GIRL friends, not other guys. No, it is not the same if you go. We all know you are not dancing by yourself or with your guy friends. Be reasonable with your comparisons.

32. No, PMS is not an excuse, but we do not mean to be shitty to you. It IS a biological fact. Expect an apology, but you do not have the ability to sympathize with dealing with cramps or unstable emotions, so try to be understanding.

33. It is a general rule: Do not speak about other women in front of us. Women are apt to be much more insecure than men, and while we should not be talking about men in front of you either, you are setting yourself up for more of those "searching for compliment" questions. That, and its plain disrespectful. Just do it when we aren't around.

34. We will always get annoyed when you act cocky. We know who you really are and we love you. We will deal with it, but we absolutely detest it.

35. If you are a friend, respect your fellow man and do not attempt to woo her or try to get her to participate in questionable things. She will try to ignore it, but she HATES it.

36. We dress sexy because we want YOUR sexual attention, no one elses.

37. We don't put on makeup to impress anyone but ourselves. Do not worry if we put it on just to go to the store.

38.
We may hang out all day with friends, and not call or talk to you, but at night, we just want to be next to you.

39. We like to have clean fun. What you may think is ridiculous and boring, we may actually find exciting, especially when we do it with closest friends. Don't try to understand. Just accept it.

40. When we cry, just listen. Even if you have no idea what we are talking about or saying. All we need is to feel heard.

41. Be careful when you roughhouse with us. We might act like we want you to really try, but we know you are stronger than us.

42. Not all girls are afraid to feel inferior to their man, just don't be condescending.

43. Tell us your fantasies. we want to fulfill them.

44. We probably like the same things you do in bed, you just haven't given us time to get comfortable with you. We aren't all freaks from the get-go. Give us a chance.

45. just because we don't have sex with you when you offer it doesn't mean we don't want to or we are trying to tease you. Our mothers taught us wisely. Be patient: if you can't, move on.

46. We aren't porn stars, do not hold such high standards.

47. unless you want us to treat you like you don't matter around OUR friends, don't treat US that way.

48. We're nice to your family because we want them to like us, so we can be closer to you. It does not always mean we like them.

49.Just because we say we love you doesn't mean we want to get married. You don't have to get sacred and run away. We'll understand if you don't feel that way too.Remember that we are emotional. We just need to know where we stand with you.

50. We're not trying to betray you when we ask your guy friends advice on our relationship with you. They know you best, and we're probably only saying good things about you anyway.

51. We don't expect you to be like the guys in the movies that romance the girl. We know life isn't like that. Don't worry so much about doing amazing things, just thoughtful things. For instance; cleaning dishes, spending the night alone, making the bed, or remembering something that she might forget. We appreciate that so much more.

52. Don't freak out about Valentine's day or anniversaries. If the girl is mad that you forgot your three month anniversary, she needs to grow up (move on, it's ok). Kisses, cards, and/or just a Happy Valentine's day hug are absolutely acceptable. We understand that you can't buy or do outrageous things.

53. Tell us what you want in bed. You are not as easy to figure out by reactions. If you want it, just ask.
Don't push it if she won't do it. She probably has good reason, and it will just make her feel terrible if she can't or isn't comfortable with doing it. We never want to deprive you.

54. It's ok to confide in us, even if you cry. We will not tell the world of your weaknesses or make you feel less masculine because of it.

55. We don't expect you to have 6 pack abs, nor do we really want you to. Like huge boobs and perfect asses, they are just nice to look at.

56. We don't want to hear about your past sexual endeavors. We really don't care how many people you've been with, just that you are with us now. However, we are naturally curious, and will ask questions. Don't EVER answer them. EVER. No matter what we say.

57. Hide your porn properly. We don't want to know that you have it or use it. It hurts to know that we may not be providing you with something that you need.

58. Girls snoop. Especially when we just meet you. We're sorry, but we automatically have no trust in you, and must find out for ourselves what you are like. A lot of us won't admit it, and may never tell you that we have. It's a terrible habit of which we are ashamed. Remember this when you have old photos or other things you do not want us to see in your room.

59. Most girls will just want you to be honest with them, even if it hurts. If you just want sex, make it clear. Not all girls need to be lied to to get them in bed. We like to have fun too. If the one you are going after is not interested, I'm sure there's another at the bar more than willing.

60. Do not sleep with a girl if she is drunk unless you are prepared for the worst drama of your life. She may deny it, she may own up to it, she may make you look like a schmuck to the entire town. Either way, know the consequences.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

ppl from the dark side

yoda: dun fall into the dark side (something like that i guess)

we often have only two path to go to, the white side n the dark side, becoz of failure, mistake, ppl choose the dark side as it will help them get over the depression, sadness, anguish, despair. y? i cant understand y going to the dark side is a better choice...zen zen rikai dekinai...

i find it abit silly for ppl to come ask me for advice n keep asking the same thing for a few times n doesnt seem to use my adivce, for what?? first thing, if u dun intend to use my adivce why ask me, second, if dun want to use my advice, why ask me again n again, n all i tell u is the same thing...

ppl cannot take sadness? cannot take bitterness? cannot take pain? y is human so afraid of losing, so afraid of being the weakest, always wanting to win, if cant than they will fall into the darkside n start condenming themshelves n what advice we tell them will be useless they will always be thinking of the negative stuffs, naze da? hontou ni zen zen wakaranai...

does darkness always win light? among all the ppl i no, thats the case sigh....the human mind is just so wanting to have everything good, not able to want to have stress all this....like waking up in the morning, i think waking up in the morning is the easiest stuff for me, its like alarm clock rings"oh wake up le get down brush ur teeth wash ur face n get ready to go out" but alot of ppl just press the alarm clock n falls back into sleep.

for me i think a person appearance is less important, if that person is not good looking but have a nice personality do u still distance urself with him even though he is not good looking or u rather make friends with a person who is so handsome but have a very bad personality...i thing that when judging a person, we shouldnt judge that person by his looks, its not his fault anyway its his gene that make him look like that, but instead we should look at this personality. i must agree that first impression is not correct, u dun no a person through first impression instead u no a person when u know each other for a long time.

above is my feelings about human beings not a ans about them, cant really fully understand human beings at all.....ningen no koto yoku wakaranai

Friday, June 26, 2009

友 情の絆

I watch yugioh 5d's n realise that there is a unbreakable bond between us true friends, that is the friendship bond. my bonds can never be broken with my friends even if we quarrel over somethings, the friendship bond is something special n i shall treasure it. ya i'm very random de haha. My friends are my mirrors, they reflect my wrong doings n help me change or rather let me change myself, either way, i need friends thats y the 友 情の絆


Thursday, June 25, 2009

mr tall guy



although its very blur but u can see a very tall guy with mask, this one is abit weird coz when i give him HI5, u purposely missed it haha but still his fun too, n i like the crab one coz he was holding a banner n vibrating well walking haha looks damn funny all three of them

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

take it lightly

i just had a chat with the c chess pro from nyp n one thing that he said was quite interesting to me was, "dun take it so hard, like me i take it lightly n i m on the next level of strength.." i'm like hmmm maybe thats y i'm stuck here, maybe becoz i take it so hard....i want to try one game where i can just take it lightly n play without worries of making the wrong move or what....

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Giving up is just so easy....

y can ppl just say"oh its too hard, i'm too tired, i want to quit" so easily?? giving up is so easy, but if u give up once, u will choose to give up every time something bad happen, something u cant cope with ur life, like studying, like weiqi ETC.....y do ppl think negatively?? y cant they turn the bad things that happened to them into a motivation to make sure that they wont let something this bad happen again....if they just choose to give up like that, then i can say that they are not living. i dun want my friends to give up, to have no confident, to have no fighting spirit, to have no dreams, to have no goals......isnt life without all this, just a empty vessel.....i will try my best to talk to my friends who are giving up not to give up.....i care becoz they are my friends, haha sometimes i think that they are unfortunate to have met me, becoz if they want to quit/give up, i wont let them give up so easily....

Sunday, June 7, 2009

upset

what have i been doing this few yrs? i'm happy for my friends around me who have been improving alot but i'm damn sad that i have been stuck here for so long....my progress is like slower than a snail can be, sigh! whenever i think about this, i want to just quit school n play weiqi from day to night n night to day, but i cant.......june term break can i have time for weiqi....sadly no....got projects n projects n extra tutions...DAMN! if time permits, i want to spend everyday with weiqi....seriously, i dun want to be the only person left behind well all my friends improve n move on without me....n my school club requires me to teach my juniors which i can use that time to train on weiqi, but i no its a obligation to teach my juniors.....if only some of them is as "guai" as others, than at least i will enjoy teaching them......

if anyone want to go to genting this june, please tell me becoz i want to go there to shout my voice out on the coaster rides.....its not good to keep everything in the bottom of my heart, like that will go bonkers de haha....for my friends who have been improving alot, please contiune to improve! dun wait for me, coz one day i will catch up to u guys de :)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

First Date (Review)

There is so many things to say i want to say here, but i cant say in order so i will jump here jump there de.....yurika n alvin thanks for the tips anyway although i can feel it didnt go well....han siong is just so straight...how can u get a GF like that lol.....he told me that "now u no how boring ur life is" haha...ok i shall write down from the start to the very end now n yurika n alvin please review it for me thanks!

the time is all esitmated base on rough memories of looking at my hp for time check...

10: Reached jurong east n walk around to see if there is any decent shops to have lunch but its all coffee shop there, so i sian n go popular see around...

1050: she told me that she is at toa payoh now, which we suppose to meet at 11 but never mind i told her its a ladies privilage to make a guy wait for them haha n so i readed up on a book that teaches u how to talk what to talk what to do all this...

12: she smsed me saying she arrived n i just finish all those that i need to read up upon n i went up to fetch her....(yurika i'm so sorry i didnt say "u r cute" when i see her, i just said hello -_-) n then we walk to the coffee shop, while walking i wasnt the one doing all the questioning which i should, but its her that ask all the question argh failed here....

1230: she said that i'm a rare "spieces" becoz normally at sec 3 is where guys turn bad but i turned good lol.......we finished our lunch n walked to science center for the Da Vinci exibition(which later i screwed up-_-) we went to the exibition area to purchase the tickets n(alvin i'm sorry but i didnt offer to buy her tickets -_-) i was quite interested n excited about this exibition....the first thing outside the exibition is a bridge made up of only wood stack together, i was really amaze by how he did it....up next is the intro to da vinci, it seems that i have not done my homework like what wen jun asked me to do, READ UP ON DA VINCI!!!!!! which is the part where is think i screwed up....she asked me about a portait n asked me whats so special about this, i seriously cant ans(han siong please lah i cant talk lame thing down there lah just cant, i cant talk things that i can with GUYS! not girls -_-) the main thing is about the little angel at the lower left corner, she said that this is the main focus of this art n she said that the angels look smarter than any other angels on the art, i was very amaze that she knew all this n this is where she thinks that i "suck" she asked me i watch alot of anime but cant see the expression of the angel, i was like errr it never came across my mind, n this is where she kept quiet n the whole thing is so screwed....but, leonardo is really a genuis of his time, he invented the portable piano which i think is damn cool lah, n he invented a drum wagon which is use for war, the invention was so cool man n simple to use...next is the mirror room(i think she asked me to go inside the mirror room but i didnt hear clearly so didnt go in -_-) than we started to go seperate ways to see different things, but feeling tells me that i should stand by her n walk with her to see the things she wants to see....(mirror room is so cool, u can see urself from any direction just by facing one mirror i wished i had that so that i can see the back of my head haha) she asked me whether its boring, n i said no but it seems its not trust worthy enough coz(she asked me again n again later><)at first i thought that the invention i saw was a helicopter but i see that the propeller cant turn one around becoz got thing stuck there n when i saw the really ancestors helicopter, it was just shocking, how do u fly that thing man lol...basically i tried to talk to her but something tells me that she is not interested anymore.....

3: i did something so stupid! i wanted to sms alvin for help but i send too fast n it was send to her -_- i rush to her saying that i send wrong msg n please dun read, BAKA HOUSE!!! wha here i nearly cui diao...n i walk away to see other invention...if only i had see this exibition last yr i would have done a special parachute for my PD module n get A haha..........i think she saw the msg n came n ask me whether its boring again, n i said no but she say its boring for her ><><><) we talk alot here..........at IMM we went to a japan house to buy her CD, u no its hard to ans this question call(what do u like about weiqi)i totally just tell her that i dunno what i like about weiqi just like weiqi lor....baka? n she say that i should seriously change the way i teach her n others.....i'm not good at teaching? after she finish buying things, she told me that i'm rigid(dunno what that means)& very (not relax) n tell me to relax....n i asked her whether have she go out with other ppl before n she asked me is this my first time going out with a girl n YES><><......we went up to take the train luckily i was able to board the train with her(alvin insists that i must send her home)......she is such a random girl lah, suddenly we talking about this but than she can suddenly jump to another topic de lol......after a few stop she asked me whether i'm sending her home.....i quietly replied yes....anyway i think the train ride is the best but she keep telling me that the more we talk the more we no our differences n the more we are away from each others....(isnt it the little imperfection in ones life that make it perfect for u? isnt it these differences that make us able n want to understand each other more? isnt similarity the one that make us have nothing to talk about? if we are all similar, wont we not need to communicate and able to no what u are thinking? i think she is just confuse about life.....)

6++: at toa payoh, she wanted to stop me from going out but i just walk straight out of the gate(hee hee i pretend not to hear what she is saying n walk out of the gate ><) this is the part where is screwed up badly....the stuff we are talking about, i really wanted to help her out as a friend, dun wanting her to give up n she offered a thing i can help her with, is to translate a chinese books she wants to read so much that she asked her dad to read it but only a few pages.........n so we went to the library to read books.....she ask me to read a book but i cant read a few characters n she just say NVM its ok....(giving up is so easy, but what about not giving up. success comes to those who doesnt give up on things becoz its hard to do it, try liking it......anyway i think she doesnt trust my words:( rather she trust others.....) after that she looked angry n parted ways at the mrt station......

The End....Thanks for the day! i enjoyed it...its very long but...got things to review? i think she is a very nice girl, daring, like to ask alot of questions, interesting......i want to understand her more to help her.... anyway i think i did badly for the first time(surprisingly i wasnt nervous at all yurika)....she says she enjoys it but i can feel that she isnt....sorry about it!

the one hr++ train ride, i have been thinking....weiqi!, until i graduate from nyp.....see u guys next sat:D only 4 names were mention in the post...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Selfless love

Here’s a true life story that I’m going to share with you - Selfless Love.
If this little child could do it, so could YOU! Here you go:
———–
My wife called, ‘How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.
I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. ‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad’s sake, dear’.
Sindu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. ‘Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…’ Sindu hesitated. ‘Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?’
‘Promise’. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious. ‘Sindu, dear, you shouldn’t insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?’
‘No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive’. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested. After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her. ‘Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!’ was her demand.
‘Atrocious!’ shouted my wife, ‘A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!’
‘Never in our family!’ My mother rasped. ‘She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!’
‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.’
‘Please, Sindu, why don’t you try to understand our feelings?’ I tried to plead with her.
‘Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice’. Sindu was in tears. ‘And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?’
It was time for me to call the shots. ‘Our promise must be kept.’
‘Are you out of your mind?’ chorused my mother and wife.
‘No. If we go back on ourpromises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.’
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, ‘Sinduja, please wait for me!’ What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. ‘May be, that is the in-stuff’, I thought.
‘Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!’ Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, ‘that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from… leukemia’. She paused to muffle her sobs. ‘Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.’
I stood transfixed and then, I wept. ‘My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!’
The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love !!
———–
If this story made you realise what is selfless love, then give out your love to someone out there! They will be glad to receive it from you!

Important in weiqi

online competition are played base on respect n trust of ur opponent becoz u cant see each other face to face....becoz of that many ppl tends to ask stronger player to play for them...y? first its broke the respect n trust bond between the other player....second of all, if ppl were to see that this happen n if they report to the higher ups wont that spoil ur image and if u r from some famous school, wont that spoil the school image too, here intergity is all broken, the higher ups will not believe in that famous school again, what if they break this kind of rules again for other competition like competition only for beginners, the higher ups will think that the famous school is trying to cheat again by sending in a player who wasnt a beginners....yes intergity no more.....ppl will say so what its just a competition, ya its true but that defeat the purpose of having this competition....imaging all the ppl start asking stronger players to play for them, wont this comp be meaningless, its just like stronger player playing against stronger player but just that in the end the one that asked the stronger player will get the prize n so y is there a need for a comp for the weaker players....n the rules didnt state that this kind of things cant happen becoz this comp was formed base on trust that the players wont cheat............................i just cant understand y they can still do it n laugh away about it.....its just so sad n angry.....

No names where mention in the making of this post....